15 – Why Faith and Salvation Are The Best Things Since Sliced Bread

What is faith? Are you saved? Kenn shares his faith in an honest monologue with you. And an intimate conversation with a single woman that has survived rape, molestation and homelessness.  Bible reading on the book of Exodus.  Have you decided to follow Christ?  Special musical guests, Min. McCoy and Voice United. Thank you for listening to the Speak Life Podcast.


I believe in the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I believe that God sent his son to die for my sins according to the Scriptures and that he was buries, raised on the third day and he appeared to Cephas, His twelve disciples and then to 500 plus people as written in 1 Cor 15: 1-6.

The Good News is that God provided that way for man to be freed from the penalty of sin. The bad news is not all will be saved, only those who put their faith in Jesus will go to heaven according to Act 4:12.

It’s the best news anyone will ever hear and what they do with this news will determine where he/she will spend eternity. God is calling you to choose life. Call on the name of the Lord and be saved. (Romans 10:13)

When talking about faith I often get a question about what color was Jesus, or how can I trust a Bible written by the King of England? A bible that 200 years ago was used to support slavery by racists. The Dead Sea Scrolls, found in 1947, verified the accuracy of transmission of the Old Testament. These manuscripts dated as far back as 400 BC, and were virtually identical to the Masoretic Text dating to around 1000 AD. The evidence for the New Testament is far stronger than authors like Plato, Aristotle, or Socrates, yet no one dreams of questioning their authenticity. Bible people, places, etc. previously declared to be myths such as Sodom & Gomorrah, the Tower of Babel, evidence of the Exodus, the ‘falling outward’ Walls of Jericho, the Hittites, King David, and Pontius Pilate all verified as accurate.

I first heard about God from my grandmother. She had the Lajos (Louis) Jambor Jesus painting in her “parlor”. The fact that this was a white dude with brown hair didn’t matter to me. I can say that with conviction because in the 70’s when I became “conscious” and folks started talking about Black Jesus., it didn’t change how I felt that he died for me.

Then as I hit my teens and the Black Power movement grew, I had my afro, dashiki and embraced the things we learned from Alex Haley’s Roots.

I didn’t know that the Bible could be anything other than the King James version with the Shakespearean English until later. Then I learned there were other translations of the old Hebrew Masoretic text and Greek and Aramaic. But still I believed it was the inspired words of God. I knew it was a Holy Book although I could explain it. I went to Bible college and learned enough to know I don’t know the answers to too much.

I could tell you about all the times I was physical rescued, saved from harm by a supernatural force but the explanation doesn’t equal the incident. I could try to debate or argue my points but I am not that good. I could share with you that I have heard the voice of God and felt His presence. And the power of the Holy Spirit but you can’t bleive what I say.

It always comes down to faith. Not matter how much education you have. No matter how much you can reason or rationalize. It all comes down to faith.

To live by faith means that you continue on trusting God because your faith is in HIM and not in your comforts, your health, your needs, your emotions, or your intellect. To live by faith means that you trust the Lord in all circumstances. In this, God is glorified.


Do you think that the God of Glory who died on the cross and rose from the dead is going to leave you or forsake you? He cannot. Therefore, your faith in Him is well placed. But remember, His perfecting of your faith sometimes requires you to actually live by it. Keep your eyes on Him and remember that His love and commitment to you was proven on the cross. That will make it easier to endure the times of perfecting your faith.

First, we must hear the Gospel of Jesus Christ. The Bible teaches that “faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God” (Romans 10:17, KJV). One is not a Christian because his parents are. Faith cannot be inherited (Ezekiel 18:20). Each person must believe in Jesus Christ for himself. Christianity is a religion of teaching (Matthew 28:19-20). Unless one has heard the Gospel and learned that Jesus Christ died for his sins, was buried, and arose from the dead, he cannot be saved (1 Corinthians 15:1-4). The apostle Paul wrote: “How then shall they call on him in whom they have not believed? and how shall they believe in him whom they have not heard? and how shall they hear without a preacher?” (Romans 10:14) One must first hear the Gospel before he can believe it.


Second, one must believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of the living God (Matthew 16:16). Jesus said: “…except ye believe that I am he, ye shall die in your sins” (John 8:24). The jailor at Philippi asked Paul and Silas, “Sirs, what must I do to be saved?” They told him to “Believe on the Lord Jesus, and thou shalt be saved, thou and thy house” (Acts 16:30-31). Jesus also said: “He that believeth and is baptized shall be saved; but he that believeth not shall be damned” (Mark 16:16). One comes to believe in Jesus Christ when he hears the Gospel taught. Faith comes only by hearing the Word of God (Romans 10:17). This is the reason it is so important that the Gospel be preached to the whole world (Mark 16:15).

Remember, the Bible says we are saved by grace through faith… God sees our heart. We are not saved by simply saying some special words in a formal prayer. We are saved when we reach out by faith, admitting our sin, believing on Christ and confess Him as our Lord and Savior. Saving faith produces a forever changed life. If you have prayed this prayer, we rejoice with you. Heaven itself is even rejoicing with you!


Likewise, I say to you, there is joy in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who


– Luke 15:10 NKJV



14 – How Can A Loser Ever Win?

The title of this weeks podcast comes from a verse in an old Al Green song but it is on point for me right now.  Many of us are going through some tough times.  As I pondered my own issues, I remembered that Jesus is recorded as saying, in John 16:33,


These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world


We as Christians, followers of Jesus Christ don’t have it any easier in this life than anyone else.  I know a good dude, who’s wife left him.  I know another who wish his wife would.  I know a guy who just lost his cat.  I know a lady who is still waiting for Mr. Right and trying not to settle for Mr RightNow. 

First thing, we are not losers.  We are just not loved by this world so the stuff we do doesn’t get promoted, liked, esteemed, appreciated like the other folks.  But you have to remember that it comes from the top, Isaiah 53:3 says Jesus is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not.

So don’t be like the world, and lift up the name of Jesus.  I know its not trendy.  I know its old fashioned.  i know it is not cool,  it will get you banned on social media.  


Romans 14:11  For it is written, As I live, saith the Lord, every knee shall bow to me, and every tongue shall confess to God.


I had some challenges this new years with my web properties, I lost them.  

How do you keep your faith in the face of adversity.  Know this.  Its’ a process.  


“Winners are not afraid of losing. But losers are”


Most people are trying not to fail, therefore they never learn and they never get better.  And because of their mindset they’re destined to live a life of mediocrity. 


It is safe for a boat to stay at harbor but that is not what it was made for.  Over time that boat will rot because it is sitting still. 


We become more afraid to fail than to succeed because we forget that the first step to learning anything is failure.  You’ve got to accept it, you’ve got to forgive yourself for failing.  You have to look at what you can learn from it.  Pick up the pieces and go on.  Learn from it and move on.   

Always remember it is okay to fail, effort comes in the tries, progression in every lesson learned. A step forward is more than a step not taken. 

  I’ve never met a strong person with an easy past. 


Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ:


As you might can tell, I like praising God.  He has done so much for me.  I am not the greatest guitarist but I play my best for him parampapum pum. 

We are not asking for anything.  We want for nothing.  God has been really good to us.  I couldn’t always say that though.  I didn’t know all that I know now.  We’ve been through some stuff.  And like the title of this Message this morning,


It’s a Process. 


Turn with me now to the NT book of Philippians 1:6,  Paul seeks to assure the church of Phillipi that God aint through with you yet.  And I am here to reinterate that


It’s a process. 


Consecrate me o lord, by thy Word divine, let my soul look up with a steadfast hope, let my will be lost in thine.



But the church is not these four walls.  You are the church.  But oh if these walls could talk?  I bet you got stories about all that you have seen and heard here.  But its ok.  You are now the church.  Where you go, it is.  But to make that church strong the foundation has to be the Rock. 


and upon this rock I will build my church; (help me somebody) and the gates of WHAT – hell shall not prevail against it. (Matthew 16:18) 


Walls are what we put up sometimes, its what keeps us from others, but you ever just think about a wall?


A freshly painted wall is a beautiful thing isn’t Rev. Herbert?


But to make it beautiful, to make the paint stick, to make it flow evenly.  You have to prep it don’t you? 


It’s a process.


You might have to patch a hole, you might have to sand down a spot, you might have to put some primer over it because of what was on it before.


Some of us, family, are being prepped right now.


We are the walls.  Sanding hurts.


We ask God, WHY LORD?  These walls can talk.  We talk, we moan, we complain.  We cry OUT.


I’m here to tell you that God hears you.  And it’s a process.


A good painter Rev. Herbert is worth his salt.  Worth every penny.  Because a bad job shows.


Matthew 10:10  says… for the workman is worthy of his meat.
Matthew 10:9-11  


But you think God isn’t listening or not answering you but He has.  He is saying wait baby, it’s a process.


If you short change the process, it looks bad.  Its incomplete.  It looks cheap like someone cut corners.  We didn’t wait on the master.


Ephesians 2:10 For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them. 


I think you feel me right now.  You realize that whatever you are going through will soon be over.  Your walls are just getting prepped.  You just got a fresh coat of paint.  You not going to look like you used to look.  You got a shine to you, you starting to look like Jesus.


Somebody is getting it.  You got a new coat of L-O-V-E


You lost your job but maybe you needed a rest.

You need more money but you still can eat

You man done left but the Lord is working it out and is going to bless you anyway if you just let him work because it’s a process.


You got holes in you heart from all the stuff people have done to you in your life, well baby, the Lord is patching you up right now, and you know why?


It’s a process. 


And while you He is working, you read the Word of God, and learn about the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost. 


In 1984, Keith M. English was one of the US Marines I served with in the US Embassy London.  Our detachment was close.  Close to twenty of us still keep in touch.  


My wife and I met him some time back during one of our anniversary get aways in VA beach.  he came by the hotel we were staying at and found out he was sick.

Some time has passed and his conditioned worsened.  


This is what he told me.  

“As a consequence of my exposure to the contaminated water at Camp LeJeune, I’ve had throat, lip and lung cancer. I don’t use tobacco and have no family history of cancer. In my May, my bottom lip was removed because of tumors. Now, the lung cancer has returned and spread. I am at work on light duty because I need to pay these medical bills. I cannot afford to stay home and rest.”— Keith English


Fear thou not; for I [am] with thee: be not dismayed; for I [am] thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness. ~ Isaiah 41:10 KJV



In any little way, Save everyday

Do you want to know one of the secrets to accumulating large amounts of wealth? Here’s a hint: It’s not about making a ton of money.

In truth, one of the keys to saving a bunch of cash is actually quite simple: Automate your finances.

One of the biggest reasons why so many people don’t save enough money comes down to discipline. When we’re forced to think about saving our hard-earned dollars, month after month, our chances of success diminish. Things get in the way, don’t they? Life gets too hectic. It happens to all of us. It’s happened to me, too. We forget. We make other choices. 


The solution is automation. Take discipline out of the equation and that completely streamlines the savings process.

After we automate our savings, we don’t have to think about saving money. Ever. Once it’s set up, which is typically very easy to do, all you’ll have to focus on is enjoying your life with the understanding that things are happening behind the scenes, things that will dramatically improve our quality of life when we get older.

Automation means money will be there when we retire.

And it’s easier than it might seem. The idea is to use your company’s payroll system, bank or investment company to fund your retirement and savings accounts automatically.


These three steps to ensure you’re set up to make saving easy:


1. If your company offers a 401(k), use it

These retirement accounts are pre-tax, which means you’re using earnings before it is taxed as income. 401(k) contributions also lower your taxable income, which means you will owe less money to the government. It’s a win-win!

The advantages don’t stop there. Some companies will match a certain percentage of your contributions, commonly around 4 percent. That means if you contribute 4 percent of your income into a 401(k), the company will throw in another 4 percent on top of your salary. That’s free money. Take advantage of it.

Keep in mind that 401(k)s are retirement accounts, which means you’ll need to wait until you’re 59 ½ before withdrawing your contributions (without incurring a 10 percent penalty). Any money that you withdraw from a 401(k) will be taxed as income at that time. 

2. Open an individual retirement account (IRA)

There are two flavors of IRA accounts: Traditional and Roth. The biggest difference between a traditional and Roth IRA is when taxes are paid.

Traditional IRAs are taxable when the money is withdrawn (it’s treated as regular income). However, all contributions are pre-tax, just like with a 401(k). A Roth IRA, however, front loads your tax burden (post-tax), but that money is not taxed when you take it out. Note there are some restrictions on who can invest in Roth IRAs based on income.

How much should you save? Strive for 10 percent. If you can’t save 10 percent yet, start small and work your way up. Even if it’s only 1 percent, that’s OK. Start there. Over time, make a point to increase your savings percentage. In a few months, try 2 percent, then 3 percent.

Now, make your 401(k) and/or IRA contributions automatic by asking your employer or payroll service to automatically deduct money from your paycheck before you even see it. This way, you aren’t writing checks or initiating bank transfers. It all happens behind the scenes.

This is called paying yourself first. Before you see any money, your retirement accounts are already funded. Automatically. 

3. Open a savings account for emergencies

Use a savings account, rather than your existing checking account, to separate your emergency fund from your spendable cash. I have an interest-bearing Ally savings account that, currently, offers over 1 percent interest every month.

Depending on how much you have saved, this can easily add up to hundreds or thousands of dollars a year. A money market account is another excellent avenue to save money and earn interest at the same time.

How much should you save? I like to keep at least three months of living expenses in my savings account. That money can carry me through most emergency situations and even an unexpected job loss. But don’t worry if you don’t have that much saved yet. Even if it’s $50 a month, start saving. It all adds up.

Make it automatic by setting up a recurring money transfer from your checking account to your savings account. Pick a day to make the transfer each month, then let the system work for you on its own. Most banks offer this capability online.

 Remember: Money in your savings account is earmarked for a rainy day. Don’t touch it unless you have a crisis that requires cash fast. The point of a savings account is to separate that cash from your spendable pot of money to reduce the chances of accidentally spending it.

Don’t cheat yourself. Let the system work for you and the cash will pile up.

Ultimately, the key to saving a ton of cash is automation. Once it is set up, you won’t have to think about it: Saving just happens. Use automation to pay yourself first by fully funding your retirement accounts, then use recurring bank transfers to ensure your emergency savings account has plenty of cash to withstand an emergency or sudden job loss.

Automation makes saving easy.

Steve Adcock retired from full-time work in his mid-30s and writes about personal finance and financial independence. Steve can be reached on his website at 



thank you for listening.  God bless you.






Greg Medford, Medford Knife and Tool Co. Interview [Speak Life Podcast 13]

On this New Year episode, I have a lengthy conversation with a brilliant man that I respect and admire.  Greg Medford is my guest of Medford Knife and Tool Co.   I respect him because of what he has accomplished.  He has some different ideas about faith, religion and philosophy and gives strong opinion about it.  I present him to you in hopes that you will not shy away from hearing someone who knows what HE believes.  I believe that YOU should seek to believe as strongly in Jesus Christ as he does about his philosophies.  He makes a damn cool knife too.  (

Philosophy vs. Faith

At some time in your life, we look for the meaning in all of this.  What is the meaning of life?  Why is there so much pain?  Why do good people suffer?  What is the meaning of life? What does it mean to be “good” or “bad”? What happens after we die? As Christians we look for these answers through our understanding of our religion.  It varies.  It varies with denominations, or who said it.

Our answers are commonly obtained through our knowledge or lack of what was said by the Scriptures, the prophets, and feelings.

And if you are like most of us we get some stuff (maybe too much) from the barber and beauty shop theologians.  One of my barbers is notorious for highlighting which TV evangelist he thinks is bogus, which celebrity is working for the Illuminati, and who is secretly working for the antichrist based on a YouTube video.  He is passionate, persuasive and sometimes entertaining.
Most of us guard our ignorance.  We don’t like to stick our head out too far and show what we don’t know.  Often it is the atheist, agnostic, Muslim, Jehovah Witness, (fill in the blank religion) that is more prepared for debate.

Here’s something else about religion.  God isn’t looking for religious nuts.  He is asking us for spiritual fruit.  Religion is how we choose to worship a Holy God.  We do what is comfortable to us.  We do what we like, NOT necessarily what is required, wanted or liked by God.  Religions have rituals. They commonly have regular church services, celebrate Holy days to commemorate special events, and practice certain behaviors like those that cross themselves in front of others.  There are those that wear special clothing or praying at certain times of day.

I am trying to show you something on the Speak Life Podcast.  I am trying to free your mind and get you connected to the Most High God regardless of “X”.

The truth about our truths is that it all comes down to faith in God.

In our conversation you will hear that Instead of being centered on faith, Greg believes in pragmatic pursuit of knowledge and a general understanding about the nature and purpose of the universe.

He is sharp and drops some science based on the work of earlier philosophers.   If this was a debate I would be blown to bits.  Our conversation did not shake my faith however. It is my prayer that is doesn’t mess you up either.

I presented it to you because the Lord put us together.  I don’t even know what will happen as a result.  One thing I hope it does is give glory to God nd not me.  I want Him esteemed higher than me.

If you thought, Kenn should be debating this dude, schooling this dude, mentally fighting this dude and he didn’t.

Was it to show you not to fear when you come up against a person of high intelligence, who seemingly has all the right answers?  Was it for entertainment purposes only?  I’ll let you decide but for me…

To God be the glory.

It’s ok too if you think I’m an idiot.  I didn’t do it to make myself look like what I am not.  When having philosophical or religious discussions, people often forget that there are basic differences.  Philosophy can exist without religion, just as believers do not have to consider the philosophy behind their faith in order to be considered faithful.  I want you to be stronger in your faith in God and that comes by challenging yourself where you are RIGHT NOW.

By faith…

For we live (walk) by faith, not by sight.  2 Corinthians 5:7

So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God. – Romans 10:17

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.
– Hebrews 11:1

But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe
that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him. – Hebrews 11:6

Walk is a metaphor for the way a person lives his or her life.

My faith provides me the answer that complements, not contradicts, what scientists have discovered, while revealing what science can never uncover, since no one was there in the beginning except God. Faith affirms that God created ‘the worlds’ and all of life in its varied forms!

“I have been crucified with Christ;
and it is no longer I who live,
but Christ lives in me;
and the life which I now live in the flesh
I live by faith in the Son of God,
who loved me and gave Himself up for me.”
Galatians 2:20



Thank you for listening, and sharing this podcast.




13 – Greg Medford on his life, knife making, philosophy and religion

On this New Year episode, I have a lengthy conversation with a brilliant man that I respect and admire.  Greg Medford is my guest of Medford Knife and Tool Co.  He has some different ideas about faith, religion and philosophy and gives strong opinion about it.  I present him to you in hopes that you will not shy away from hearing someone who knows what HE believes.  I believe that YOU should seek to believe as strongly in Jesus Christ as he does about his philosophies.

Music used with permission from and Richard Smallwood and Vision’s “Total Praise”


[Podcast Episode 12] Immanuel, Malachi, Money and a friend named Ben

The reason for the season we call Christmas, my thoughts on how folks think about giving money at Church, interview with the owner and creator of Joyce Pipes, the Bible verses leading up to the Ten Commandments as I read from the book of Exodus.


Immanuel (Hebrew: עִמָּנוּאֵל meaning, “God with us”


For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord.
And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.
And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying,
Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.  Luke 2:11


The real message of Christmas is not the gifts that we give to each other. Rather, it is a reminder of the gift that God has given to each of us. It is the only gift that truly keeps on giving, love.

In our money section, Kenn reads and talks about what the book of Malachi says about tithes and offerings, how it is abused and misused.  How what we do affects our ministry.  Its more than money.

Music used by permission by the group at

Join the email group at

Read and get more information at

Support the Show at



“We must all learn to live together as brothers or we will all perish together as fools.  We are tied together in the single garment of destiny, caught in an inescapable network of mutuality.  And whatever affects one directly affects all indirectly.  For some strange reason I can never be what I ought to be until you are what you ought to be.  This is the way God’s universe is made; this is the way it is structured.”            Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.





Podcast link


11 – Star Wars, fiction, Science, and the Bible

Financial tip, science and faith, bible reading of Exodus, Star Wars

Music used with permission from I Will Speak Life©

Music used with permission from Harp 46©  Wild Mountain Thyme


Bonus Content – A Prayer For You To Be Better Not Bitter

a prayer for hump day Dec 13 2017.  be better not bitter. 240-623-7200



Speak Life

Toby Mac created a song called Speak Life. This blog and the podcast connected to it called Speak Life has nothing to do with his hit song.  We are not connected to the Foundation out of Atlanta, helping young people rise above their circumstances.  This site is also not about the group selling shirts at Speak Life Inc. inspiring others to be more positive.  The blog contains the show notes, references, and written information that follows each weekly podcast of called the Speak Life Podcast.  The music used in the intro and outro, is from the Ohio group, I Will Speak Life by permission.

The goal of the show is to touch lives through the power of communication.

God tells us in His Word that the tongue has incredible power. We can use our tongue to bring blessings and life or curses and death. Choose to Speak Life! Subscribe to the show today. (itunes) (stitcher) (googleplay)

About Podcasting

Podcasting is the medium of broadcasting on a shoestring and being able to talk directly into the earbuds of your audience. It’s new media being only about thirteen years old. Contrary to popular belief, it is not when radio people splice up pieces of their traditional radio shows and make it available online. People like Rush Limbaugh and a lot of famous people don’t really podcast. They just share their content online. It is not the same.

Podcasting is a modern day soapbox. The successful podcasters that are out here care about and speak directly to their audiences. They care about audio quality and time. That changes the shoestring thing. Some of us spend goo-gobs of money for quality equipment and have studios now. These podcasters don’t just blab incessantly. They entertain and carry on a monologue that is time shifted. You can learn from podcast. Its like hearing from a friend on a regular basis.

I love having the opportunity to share my life experiences and opinions with thousands of people. Over the past ten years that I have been podcasting I have had over a million downloads of my Black Man With A Gun show. On it I have preached, taught and reached people all over the world. I have become trusted enough that when I recommend a product it sticks. Decided to focus on what I did there here for this podcast. There is power in focusing.

The podcast medium is so new that many podcasters are connected. We start are own associations, alliances and schools to teach one another tricks of the trade. It’s a subculture that is growing and quite fun. Business and entrepreneur related podcast are the big money makers. There are a lot of folks in that space. But it is the niche that makes a podcast special. You think that no one else care about your subject and then boom, in a few months you have hundreds of subscribers.

Podcasting is different than radio. Radio is impersonal, ad-laden, and noisy. Podcasting is personal. It’s so personal. I have shared my shortcomings, fears and flaws with folks I have never seen. The result from that is evident when someone that listens to me meets me. It’s like having a pen pal you just met for the first time. They know all about you. It’s awkward sometimes but they usually email me and comment as well so you get to know them too. It has expanded my circle of friends.

This is one part of emerging technology I am going to ride to the end. Take a ride with me.

I have started a subscription account to support the show for $5 a week. If you would like to do that here’s a link.

Or you can support the ministry on Together we can go further.

Kenn Blanchard


10 – How to get your Christmas spirit back

Conversation with a former skinhead, Neo-nazi, biker now a Biker For Christ. Financial tip on listening to the internet for advice. Suicide prevention line 1-800-273-8255. How do you get the Christmas spirit back?  Bible reading continues from the book of Exodus


How to Speak Life When Someone Is Grieving

Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof. Proverbs 18:31

The ongoing theme of this podcast is to Speak Life to your situation. How do you “speak life” to someone going through the grieving process? Death is a part of life. Nobody likes it. It comes in all forms and never when you are ready. Grief is a part of the human experience, and we grieve not just for the person who has died, but also for the part of our life they take with them

Here are three suggestions on what to say when someone is grieving that is not insensitive, or cliché.

  1. I wish I had the right words, just know that I care.
  2. I don’t know how you feel, but know I am here to help in any way I can.
  3. If you want to talk, I’d love to listen. I’m here if you would like to talk about it.


I bring up the often gloomy subject of death, dying and dealing with loss. It is one of those few subjects that is always present just below the service but we rarely want to discuss.

150,000 people die every day. 90% of them die naturally.

I want you to live. One of the purposes of this show is to make you stronger, happier and better. So, to do that I wanted to cover this topic if possible to inoculate you if I could. When the issue of death comes up in your family or you hear about it from a friend, you will have some points of view and things to remember..

“Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live.” ~Norman Cousins

What is it about death that scares us?

What is it about death that intrigues us?

Death is the great mystery. It may be a taboo subject, or it may be the most controversial topic I have been spoken publically about. We all must die.

There is no age requirement. It can happen at anytime.

“There are only three things for certain, trouble, death and taxes, this I know.” – Marvin Gaye

So we all must die, but how many of us truly live. What is life then? What is the meaning of life?

How do you know you are living a good life? Can you gauge it, measure it, and quantify it?

To die “naturally today in the U.S. usually means they died from heart disease, stroke, obesity, and aging. Infectious disease is in this equation somewhere and comes when we are weak.

In 2012, suicide took out more people than car crashes, followed by poisoning, and murder.

Death affects us differences. We grieve differently. It’s a loss. It’s guilt. It’s the realization. That we are mortal.

Grieving is a progress. How should we handle death? Should it be with remorse, or with a celebration?

I have learned that there are five stages of grief. They also happen at other times in our lives. They are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.

Denial is the first of the five stages of grief. It helps us to survive the loss. In this stage, the world becomes meaningless and overwhelming. Life makes no sense. We are in a state of shock and denial. We go numb. We wonder how we can go on, if we can go on, why we should go on. We try to find a way to simply get through each day. Denial and shock help us to cope and make survival possible.

Anger is a necessary stage of the healing process. The more you truly feel it, the more it will begin to dissipate and the more you will heal. We can get out of hand with the anger. The anger is just another indication of the intensity of your love.

Before a loss, it seems like you will do anything if only your loved one would be spared. “Please God, ” you bargain, “I will never be angry at my wife again if you’ll just let her live.” After a loss, bargaining may take the form of a temporary truce. “What if I devote the rest of my life to helping others. Then can I wake up and realize this has all been a bad dream?” We become lost in a maze of “If only…” or “What if…” statements. We want life returned to what is was; we want our loved one restored. We want to go back in time: find the tumor sooner, recognize the illness more quickly, stop the accident from happening…if only, if only, if only. Guilt is often bargaining’s companion. The “if only” cause us to find fault in ourselves and what we “think” we could have done differently. We may even bargain with the pain. We will do anything not to feel the pain of this loss. We remain in the past, trying to negotiate our way out of the hurt.

After bargaining, our attention moves squarely into the present. Empty feelings present themselves, and grief enters our lives on a deeper level, deeper than we ever imagined. This depressive stage feels as though it will last forever. It’s important to understand that this depression is not a sign of mental illness. It is the appropriate response to a great loss. We withdraw from life, left in a fog of intense sadness, wondering, perhaps, if there is any point in going on alone? Why go on at all? Depression after a loss is too often seen as unnatural: a state to be fixed, something to snap out of. To not experience depression after a loved one dies would be unusual. When a loss fully settles in your soul, the realization that your loved one didn’t get better this time and is not coming back is understandably depressing. If grief is a process of healing, then depression is one of the many necessary steps along the way.

Acceptance is often confused with the notion of being “all right” or “OK” with what has happened. This is not the case. Most people don’t ever feel OK or all right about the loss of a loved one. This stage is about accepting the reality that our loved one is physically gone and recognizing that this new reality is the permanent reality. We will never like this reality or make it OK, but eventually we accept it. We learn to live with it. It is the new norm with which we must learn to live. We must try to live now in a world where our loved one is missing. In resisting this new norm, at first many people want to maintain life as it was before a loved one died. In time, through bits and pieces of acceptance, however, we see that we cannot maintain the past intact. It has been forever changed and we must readjust. We begin to live again, but we cannot do so until we have given grief its time.

How do you handle death? Religions always have tried to explain it. I give you the views of several different ones on this episode.

I suggest that you handle death and those grieving with compassion and with your ears and your heart. Just listen. Don’t try to be or say anything. Just be a shoulder to cry on and a person. Don’t project your pain.

Death is a natural part of life. We collectively don’t handle it well. We tend to internalize it, allow it to eat at us and hurt us more. Understand that it is a process you learn to handle over time. Loss is a very big issue.

Loss is associated with irrational thoughts and behaviors. It comes from felling like we are out of control. The reality is that loss is inevitable.

How we choose to see things dictates how we’ll experience them. Would you rather see everything as precious or pointless?

I don’t know if I succeeded in helping you with this monologue on death, dying and loss. I would like to know what you think though.


It is not death that man should fear, but he should fear never beginning to live. – Marcus Aurelius



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